New Year, New Hope

Awake until the wee hours of the morning today making posts for the Facebook page I am managing. But I know that I cannot just post a #VOTD for the sake of posting -- that needs a Word meditation, it needs spending time with God's presence. So while meditating, many Bible verses struck me -- God's Words that I know my heart needs at that moment. I am immediately comforted. I felt peace.

But just before I went to bed, one verse caught my attention. I know it's the Lord speaking to me and I just found myself crying in the dark.

Isaiah 45:5 (NIV)

 I am the Lord, and there is no other, apart from Me there is no other God. I will strengthen you, though you have not acknowledged Me.

Then, I broke down. The Lord still cares for me because He gently rebukes the coldness of my heart. I have not been spending time with Him before 2018 ends. I have been spending it through the worldly and temporary satisfactions of this world. I've mentioned in my previous entry that I've made wrong and unwise decisions during the last quarter of 2018. The challenges I've experienced made my heart to be distant from the Lord instead of abiding in Him during those challenging times. I did not sought His will. I have pursued my own ways and desires. I seldom pray, and that made my heart dry.

Praise God for He still speaks to me through His Word, though I have ignored Him many times these past few days. Truly the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart (Hebrews 4:12).

Oh how I am sorry Lord. Forgive me Lord, please give me another chance to correct the mistakes I've done in the past. Thank You Father for humbling me through those challenges. I miss You, God. I miss hanging out with You. I miss our talks. I miss our "we time". I love You, God. I love You, Lord.

Isaiah 45:3-4 (NIV) 

3 I will give you hidden treasures, riches store in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name. 

4 For the sake of Jacob, my servant, of Israel my chosen, I summon you by name and bestow on you a title of honor, though you do not acknowledge Me.

Thank You, God. I praise and thank you. Please lead me to spend time more with You in the secret place. May this failing heart of mine acknowledge Your marvelous doings in my life, all of my waking time. I want to know You more, I want to grow deeper with You. May I not forget all Your benefits. May I proclaim Your saving acts in the presence of the great assembly. In Jesus' mighty Name, Amen!