Uncharted Territory

An uncharted territory. It's already been weeks [and counting] since I got in this foreign land. Terror creeps in and doubt starts lurking as I explore the unfamiliar terrain I am into where different breed of lions are. A character that is definitely not possessed by the Joshua Generation.

I have had bad decisions in my career life for the past months. Bad, as in foolish and unwise acts. Disciplining process was very painful, and consequences of my disobedience were felt by my whole household which made it even more agonizing. It was definitely one of those humbling periods in my life. I've had many crying nights -- a cry for help, a shout for rescue.

Jesus, I need You. Every bit of my body, heart, soul, spirit needs You. Every area of my life is useless and cannot accomplish anything without You. Help me go through this Lord for Your Name's sake. 

And the Lord heard my plea! My heart leaped for joy because specific prayers were finally answered. God responded to my desperate prayers and I landed a job. But as I delve into this unexplored, undiscovered ground (well, at least for me), my heart started to doubt again. Fear is making its way into my mind...again.

Am I too old for this? I am competing with these young ones whose work experiences are something that this company is looking for. I'm having a hard time catching up with the lingo, culture, jargon, and process flow of this industry. Felt that my 10-year professional experience is nothing compared to theirs.

Jesus, You are the source of everything. Equip me with Your divine wisdom and courageous character. Help me not to be drowned in the sea of doubt. I am reaching my hand to You, take the wheel, my Lord and take full control of my life. Help me conquer this land and conquer my fear, to be excellent in this field and to bloom where You've planted me for Your glory alone! 

Yeah! Talking about insecurities. I may not share with  you all the details YET, but I thank the Lord for this time. It's not every day that I get to write an entry and I wanted to thank the Lord and the sweet Holy Spirit for this moment. But for those who are experiencing or have experienced the same, this song from Don Moen is definitely on point. May our heart sing praises to God in every seasons of our life.

Uncharted Territory

Verse 1
I find myself in uncharted territory
Never felt so lost never felt so lonely
Where are You Lord

I'm so afraid I can feel the fear inside me
Can't control the chaos all around me
Where are You Lord
How can I sing the Lord's song in a foreign land

Chorus 1
(But) How can I forget
All You've done for me
Everything You've done Lord
Just to set me free
Teach me how to pray
Teach me how to praise
Even in the darkness
Teach me how to sing Your song
(Your song gonna sing Your song)

Verse 2
How can I sing when my heart is broken
When every prayer is just a token
Where are You Lord

Sometimes our pain can tell a tragic story
Still I will praise You and give You glory
Where are You Lord
Help me to sing the Lord's song in this foreign land

Chorus 2
(But) How can I forget
All You've done for me
You have been so faithful
Meeting every need
Teach me how to pray
Teach me how to praise
Even in the darkness
Teach me how to sing Your song
Your song gonna sing Your song

Feel free to share anything about the unwise decisions you've had in your career life and how Jesus helped you go through it.

God bless your good heart! :)

Rainy Days and Long Walks

It's been a while since my last blog entry. Writer's block, as they say. But I think, being unable to write or proceed with the blog is not the real problem. As I try to attempt confessing a part of me, I hope and pray that this will be God's instrument to restore what the enemy has destroyed in you.

Today, almost every road and streets in the Metro felt the afternoon drizzle. Rush hour and Christmas season adds to the horrifying traffic in Manila. Despite of the rainy weather today, my heart remained so dry. I was like this for a couple of days, maybe weeks I think.

My heart knew that it must be soaked in God's Words, that it must be sprinkled with the Living Water, and must be planted by the streams to grow and be alive. But.. but.. even if the mind is willing, the flesh is so weak.

Not until today..

I was conversing with the Lord on my way home while traversing Makati Avenue from Ayala Avenue. Reason why I liked long walks because I enjoy talking to the Lord. But that moment, I don't know what to pray. All I know is I want to pray, but I have no idea on what to say to the Lord.

So, I asked the Holy Spirit (the Advocate) with all of my heart to guide me on what I need to pray (Romans 8:26, John 14:26, Luke 12:12). And suddenly I started to speak in tongues. Revelations came through like a gush of wind. Worship songs came out of my heart and mouth. The Lord has just impressed in my heart that I am designed to worship Him. That every time I wake up in the morning, my top priority is to worship Him -- nothing more, nothing less.

Worshiping God is my top priority. As I keep on repeating those words over my head, while walking over Makati-Mandaluyong bridge, under the starless sky, tears came rolling down my cheeks very quickly. Teleserye feels. Hehe :)

God proved [again] that He can immediately restore our fellowship with Him if we humble ourselves before Him, admit our sins, and acknowledge our great need of Him. Immediate restoration is just an easy thing in the eyes of the Lord. Yes! You've read it right. But there has to be a genuine repentance. We have to humble our hearts and admit our sins. We must come nearer to God, and He will draw Himself nearer to us (James 4:8).


Remembering King Manasseh on this scenarios (2 Chronicles 33:12-13)..

DESIRE

2 Chronicles 33:12 

"In his distress he sought the favor of the Lord his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his ancestors."

You may want to back read on the life of King Manasseh on the detestable things he did in the eyes of the Lord from verses 1-9. The Lord spoke to him and his people but they paid no attention. So God allowed the king to be captured. King Manasseh's distressful moment was used by God so that the proud and stubborn king would be humbled causing him to call upon the name of the Lord.

Is your spiritual life dry, lifeless, no fresh and new revelations, has lack of excitement to pray or read the Word of God? Does social media excites you more rather than spending time with the Lord? If yes, you are one-inch close in dying spiritually. Zombified -- alive but not alive. Walking dead in other words.

If that's the case, desire to have spiritual revival and restoration. Pray that your heart will want to experience new things from the Lord and that you want to hear Him again. Crave and be hungry for God. Aspire to experience His nearness. Be fascinated in who He is. Seek, dwell, and gaze upon His beauty once more.

DECIDE

2 Chronicles 33:13 

"And when he prayed to him, the Lord was moved by his entreaty and listened to his plea; so he brought him back to Jerusalem and to his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the Lord is God."

Your desire must not remain as a desire. There has to be an immediate action. Pray that your heart will start to delight and meditate again on His laws day and night (Joshua 1:8, Psalm 1:2). Go to your secret place and start talking to God through prayers. Although He knew every thoughts of men and nothing is hidden from Him, God still wants us to call unto Him (Jeremiah 33:3). Be around with fellow believers. Feed the soul with God's Words by attending midweeks and Sunday services.

As well all know, the Lord is so gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, and His love is abounding (Psalm 103:8). Enjoy the presence of the Lord and all the benefits of the Cross of Calvary when we have a renewed, restored fellowship with God.